02.05.2025
Access point name the Lord
I came across a gematria calculator after watching a video on YouTube on it (it was one of those late night “how did I end up here” type of YouTube adventures). In numerology, gematria is defined as:
“the practice of assigning a numerical value to a name, word or phrase by reading it as a number, or sometimes by using an alphanumerical cipher.”
When I put my name into the calculator I get:
Some words that have the same numerical values as my name include:
- Revolver
- God the father
- Field of dreams
- Access point name the Lord
- Purest point
- I’m sorry
This is a seemingly very random sequence of words, but I find they feel good together. Don’t they make a nice set?
Without any context at all, this would be very random and maybe not feel as cohesive. But with even the slightest implication of relationship, or maybe even without this, the reader works very hard to create a narrative to make sense of the randomness.
Since the mathematical relationship/numerical value of these words and my name has always “been”, I found myself looking for the connections between these words and myself. Could they have some sort of significance? If it doesn’t now, could it be relevant somehow in the future? I don’t think the answer is as important as the exercise here. Regardless of plausibility or my beliefs, my brain still searches for answers, some sort of basis that could make it true to test this plausibility.
I saw the word:
- Undertaker
And it recalled fond memories watching WWE with my brothers when I was a child.
Amazing. National Treasure.
Thoughts and emotions are the narrative of the lived experience. Otherwise, everything that is observed from our consciousness would just be data points. We need meanings to make sense of what we experience.
Without the implication of narrative, the viewer works to create the narrative themselves. And the way it lingers in the mind as we search for meanings is sometimes even more effective as a tool for connection than if it were to be spelled out for us. In the game of having-a-hand-in-the-pot and as brands work tirelessly to “make” the viewer spend on their products, I think we often neglect to leave gaps.
The brand exists as a set of data points: its logo, typography, messaging etc. but its true presence is built in the minds of those who engage with it. We can’t dictate that entirely, but maybe we don’t have to.
Doesn’t strong desire walk the line between having and not-having?
Isn’t that delicious tension when desire feels the strongest?